So… recently I was enjoying some natural time back at our pond. Clothes free, cooling breeze, peace and quiet. The breeze coupled with the lemon grass spray kept the bugs away. It was a mostly cloudy day, which was wonderful because I have rather pale skin tone and can sunburn fairly quickly if I’m not careful. Thus, my chair is usually set up in the shade, and I will make brief forays into direct sunlight.
As I lay there, the cloud cover began to break up. I found myself exposed to strong, bright, direct sunlight. I decided to lay there anyway for a few moments before moving my chair back into the shade of the large oak tree.
Then, my phone rang.
I looked at the screen. “Private Number”. Hmmm. I rarely get those and don’t answer them, so I swiped the little red icon to quiet the phone. As soon as I set it back down, it started ringing again. I looked at the screen and sure enough it showed the same thing- “Private Number”. Again, I swipe the little red icon to stop the ringing. Strange that a private number would call me in the first place and even stranger it would call me back so quickly. I decided to wait and see if it happened again.
It did. No sooner had I swiped the red icon and decided to see what would happen than my phone started ringing again. And again, the display showed “Private Number”. I figured it would be best to answer it and find out what this is all about. I swiped the green icon and said “Hello”.
“Sir, please move your chair into the shade of that adjacent oak tree if you intend to remain nude.”
Alarmed, I started scanning the area, trying to find the trespasser who was obviously somewhere around me.
“Who is this?” I demanded, reaching for my firearm that I keep handy for snakes and hostile critters.
“Sir, there is no need to panic. Nobody is on your property. I’m with the National Security Administration. The sunlight reflecting off of your body is blinding several key satellites, now PLEASE move your chair into the shade if you intend to remain nude!” Then the call disconnected.
I looked up at the sky in wonder, and immediately moved my chair into the shade. I was starting to get too hot anyway.